Bar Bar Lagataar

Bar Bar Lagataar
By Akshay A. Kalbag
Recently, four distinct personalities from different professions found themselves in the news for the same reason–the Maharashtra government’s crackdown on Mumbai’s bar–girls. These bar–girls used to dance to Bollywood numbers (and the rustle of notes that their customers used to so generously shower upon them) in the dance bars. They came down from the city of dreams from their villages and were soon forced (both by poverty and by the people who ran these sleazy establishments) to gyrate in front of portly, middle–aged men (mostly) and sell their souls (and flesh) to the devil in exchanges for wads of money.
The person who vowed to make life miserable for these young girls was R.R. Patil. The man is going through a serious identity crisis–he is not able to juggle his roles and responsibilities as a senior Nationalist Congress Party (NCP) leader, the deputy Chief Minister of Maharashtra and the Minister holding the important Home portfolio in the state government. Apart from that, he is also trying to play Big Brother and keep a watch on all the immoral activities going on in the city in the name of night life. The new moral policeman is on the lookout for any sleazy business, and for that he can be rightly renamed Bar Bar Patil.
The second character in the dance bar drama is a woman with a lot of ill–gotten wealth, and hence Patil’s sworn enemy. Tarannum Khan, who became the blue–eyed (bar)girl of both the customers at Deepa Bar in Vile Parle and the Mumbai tabloid press recently, is a crorepati bargirl. Raids on her premises and closet revealed evidence of her alleged links with the underworld, Bollywood actors and cricketers, apart from the dance bar regulars like small–time businessmen etc. The well–known fact that ‘all are equal in the eyes of the law’ was proved when Tarannum was arrested and locked up in the same prison cell where starlet Pretti Jaiin was in custody. Wonder what Jaiin (who accused film–maker Madhur Bhandarkar of rape) and Tarannum spoke about in the lock up!
As for the third party, he is a Bollywood veteran known more for playing second fiddle to the leading man in several movies and his infamous temper tantrums off –screen that his meaningful contribution to the much–maligned industry (ahem, what’s that?) Yes friends, the media and the cops are trying to figure out the answer to an important question which could provide a vital clue that will help solve this matter: ‘Aditya Pans–choli ke peeche, aage, oopar, neeche kya hai?’ Any answers?
As for the fourth angle in this tale, the person in question is none other than Sri Lankan off–spinner Muttiah Muralitharan. He may be having the second–highest number of Test wickets to his name, but Tarannum Khan, by no means, is the ace bowler’s prized scalp. In fact, the spin king is as confused about his name cropping up in this connection as batsmen are while trying to play his ‘doosra’. Murali is well and truly on a sticky wicket now, because as it is, he was dealing with allegations of chucking and was no–balled several times on a tour to Australia. The ace offie may prefer turning tracks, but with the way events are turning, the Kandy man is sure to have some very bitter memories.
Give all these people a break, folks! As for Muralitharan, an off–break would do well to rejuvenate him.